Women can’t win. Too big? You’re an overweight piggy. Too thin? You’re anorexic and should probably eat more. Don’t even get me started on the boobs or the behind because that just complicates it. Maybe we should stop romanticizing conventional (and impossible) beauty standards because that just gets us more mixed up than ever. I used to weigh 90 pounds. I ate a balanced lunch of fries and an Iced tea and on several occasions I did purge by making myself throw up. Over the years I managed to get a better sense of diet. In college I weighed about 110 pounds. Then I started on antipsychotics and mood stabilizers and I ballooned. My perfect figure went up in smoke. People said ugly stuff to me on the internet. I was no longer considered pretty. If you are heavy you are either fetishized or you are ignored. If you are unlucky you are ridiculed. Fat jokes are a tale as old as time. I weigh about 186 pounds and I’m five foot 2. My face is round and my belly sags. On the bright side my breasts rock. But the payoff is pretty poor when you feel like you’re the roundest in the room. It’s a pretty hard thing to reconcile with.
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