“The main problem with hypersexuality is the promiscuity: a behaviour fiercely out-of-character for both sexes. It can cause enormous humiliation and excruciating pain, especially if we’ve had sex with someone we wouldn’t normally have dinner with.”
I’m here today to talk about an aspect of bipolar disorder that I’ve glossed over previously: hypersexuality. In the years before I was diagnosed as bipolar, I would behave promiscuously with friends and friends boyfriends and my boyfriends friends whenever I was manic. Because of this I a) ruined multiple relationships b) earned myself a bad reputation. I loved that high when I was manic and everytime I was physical with someone, it fed into that high, like some sort of drug. And then, as with every drug, came the crash. I had hurt people. I had hurt myself. I used people. I let myself be used. Even now I feel shame over the encounters I’ve had with people who I wasn’t even interested in. Sometimes I would try to stop a sexual encounter before it went too far and the guy would take advantage of me. But in my manic state it didn’t bother me much and when I came down from it, I felt like I deserved it. Hypersexuality might sound fun especially if you’re a horny college guy (“sex wherever, whenever baby!) but it can ruin your life. And for me it is one of the most embarrassing, shameful thing about being bipolar, a disease I cannot control.
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