Yesterday I had one. A panic attack. I had a million things on my mind and they were all crowded over my eyes like clouds making it impossible for me to see. I was in the bathroom and slumped to the floor. Panic attacks are quite immobilizing. Downright paralyzing. Eventually, my parents found me and urged me to “use my techniques” so I did paced breathing. Many thanks to Winnie the Pooh, my parents and my cat for helping me. I don’t usually get panic attacks anymore but I would get terrible ones at school. I was very hard on myself for them not realizing what I needed most was self-compassion.
Anyway, the holidays are upon us….but I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that. My therapist warned me not to get too excited around the holidays. We don’t want another manic episode. Yesterday we set up the trains. There’s fake snow, sledding, a village, and an ice skating pond. With the Christmas lights threaded through the small trees, it looked magic. Sorry guys I get cheesy around the holidays. They mean a lot to me. Unfortunately, I’m not usually myself around the holidays. My OCD gets in my head and I get confused. Case in point: presents. I get downright neurotic about presents. I’m working on some homemade gifts and there is this little voice in my head telling me to stop, that people won’t like them. It (my OCD) tells me no one wants to spend time with me or hear what I have to say. No wonder I had a panic attack.
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