Quitting Alcohol
Precontemplation: The first person to tell me I had an alcohol problem was my best friend, Derrick and that might be one of the reasons he will always be close to my heart. He was brave enough to tell me the truth. He saw me blackout drunk every weekend and then during intercession every single day. He even told his family which made me furious. I thought it was none of his business and I could do what I wanted with my body.
Contemplation: I ended up in the hospital vomiting blood. I stayed there several days attached to several tubes, one of them inserted through my nose leading to my stomach that helped drain the blood. I realize my drinking might have interfered with my health and began to question some of the life choices I had made under the influence. I debated to give up drinking at least for a little while.
Preparation: I told people I was going to stop drinking, “at least for a little while” (one day at a time, amiright?). I bought nonalcoholic beer which I would drink at parties to imitate the taste of beer and fool myself into pretending I was actually drinking alcohol. I cut down on going to parties where I knew the focus would be drinking games until I got comfortable not drinking.
Action: I stopped cold turkey. When I would go to big parties I would bring Bloody Mary mix and mix it with water or nonalcoholic wine. Most people wouldn’t be able to tell the difference but if you can good for you.
Maintenance: I have been sober for eight and a half years. I rarely get the urge to drink at parties. I threw a kickass 21st birthday party where vodka somehow got on the ceiling and I never touched a single drop. I don’t talk to Derrick anymore but I know if we were still friends, he would be proud of me.
Chatrooms
Precontemplation: I started my chatroom addiction when I was fifteen which is way too young to be on the internet. I liked to flirt with men and I eventually did get in over my head. By some sort of miracle I am here, safe, writing to you. At the time I didn’t really see anything wrong for my behavior. Or maybe I did but I was in the deepest depth of denial.
Contemplation: I realized everytime I started exploring chatrooms and websites (at any age) I would get sucked in. I would spend all my time talking with the next guy who seemed cute and interesting. I got alot of attention and I could pick and choose who I wanted to talk to. Guys got points for originality; you were not going to talk to me if all you had is “sup?” And the more I went on these chatrooms the less original the posts got.
Preparation: I talked to my boyfriend who knew I had an issue talking to men online. We had agreed to see other people but after I told him I would get my cyberaddiction under control we became anonymous again and I deleted Snapchat and several other social media apps.
Action: I completely gave up chatrooms or any way I could talk to men who weren’t already my friends (trust me I have enough).
Maintenance: I have been completely loyal to my boyfriend since I gave up the chatrooms. I’m not looking for anyone to entertain me. Chatrooms occupied a colossal amount of my time. There were so many other things I could be doing instead of wasting my time with pointless conversations. What was my end goal anyway? I certainly was not prepared to go through with having sex, or even meeting any of these men in person. I will not turn back to this habit/addiction. I expect more of myself than that.
I will start going to the gym
Precontemplation: I have been battling health problems including severe Crohn’s diseases, on and off for a while. In September, I had been riddled by such severe diarrhea I couldn’t leave the house. When I began to recover, my mom started dropping hints about going back to the gym. I didn’t really give it much thought, preferring to do other things in the morning than working on my health,
Contemplation: I started trying on holiday outfits and I wasn’t really pleased with the body I was putting forward. When my boyfriend and I would walk his dog I would easily get embarrassingly out of breath. I wasn’t happy with my health. It looked like someone had glued a doughy pizza to my stomach.
Preparation: I talked to my mom about going back to the gym.
Action: I started going back to the gym. I would eat a leisurely breakfast and then my dad would drive me over. So far I just spend a half hour on the treadmill listening to my own playlists. I just want to improve my health, step by step. I walked up a pretty steep hill the other day and even though I was convinced I might black out I made it to the top (still not sure it was worth the quest for the ramen noodles though).
Maintenance: I try to hit the gym every day. I encourage all my friends out there with mood disorders to try exercise even though if you are in too much of a slump getting out of bed may be the last thing on your mind. But I always feel good after a workout. Those endorphins aren’t fooling around!
I will start looking for jobs that actually make money
Precontemplation: After I “failed” at my last job miserably, I consoled myself with the fact that my parents and boyfriend would look after me for the rest of my life and that I could busy myself with writing books that don’t make any money. I would literally stick my fingers in my ears and “la la la” when the subject came up with my parents or my therapist who itched to see me more independent. I was very resistant to the idea.
Contemplation: My therapist suggested I start training to be a peer specialist. In college I studied counseling but never graduated. This was one way I could study and practice what I was passionate about without having to go to a stressful school or go into tons of debt. I wasn’t committed to the idea but I began toying with it.
Preparation: I did some research on being a peer specialist and found out when the new term started. I looked at the other documents I’d need like a high school diploma and letters of recommendation. My friend also hooked me up with the editor of a magazine and I started writing articles for money,
Action: I’m making money doing several endeavours including training for being a peer specialist (I got a 95 on the test today!), working as a freelance offer and tonight I’m going to a group where I will be trained to be a facilitator (also pays well).
Maintenance: Just because I’m bipolar doesn’t mean I have to depend on my parents or my boyfriend or my therapist or anybody for the rest of my life. I’m not going to do a 180 and be obsessed with money because that is not me. But I’m determined to be wiser, to save more of my money, and eventually when I do move in with Justin I will pull my own weight. I’m not going to be a burden on anyone else.
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