I had stepped foot in a gym maybe once in my life before Tuesday. The first thing I did when I walked through the doors was eye the protein shakes…and wonder if they tasted like chocolate.
“Can we help you?” asked one of the guys behind the counter.
“Oh I have a…gym membership,” The words sounded so foreign coming out of my mouth. It was strange like the other words I had heard such as “elliptical” and “lateral”. The guy gave me a key card I could scan every time I came into the gym. I attached it to my keychain, library card, and Winnie the Pooh housekey.
“Do you know where the classes are?” I asked him. He sent me past all the intimidating machines to an empty room tucked away at the back by the punching bags. The class filled up with several other women all older than me and all in considerably better physical condition than I was. I kept my eyes on the instructor and tried to follow her movements. The class was “dance toning”. It was hard but not as hard as I expected. The night before I had visions of me flopping to the ground in a puddle of sweat. That didn’t happen, although I did have to modify the routine several times, especially in consideration of my knees in which I have pretty bad tendonitis.
At the end of the class, a really nice woman named Debbie came over to check on me. The other women said bye to me as well as I was waiting for my ride. I expected to feel sore but I actually didn’t. I did soak in a bubble bath as soon as I got home though. #selfcare
The next day there was no class but I went to get my complimentary session with a trainer. I also wanted to taste one of those protein shakes. I got a chocolate and banana shake while waiting for my trainer and tried to people-watch without being creepy. I needed to get me some gym clothes. I was good on T-shirts (though most had knives on them because I loved horror movies) but I only really had one pair of athletic shorts and it kind of showed my butt whenever I bent over. As a result, I was kind of doing extra squats whenever I had to pick something up which bothered my knees.
I liked my trainer. He took stock of my workout/ fitness goals (to lose weight, to tone my stomach, and to get in better shape) and then led me to a mat where he had me do a wall-sit which was excruciating on my knees (which I hadn’t told him about because I hadn’t wanted to seem like a wimp). He had me do several other exercises before saying “The good news is you do have a high level of physical fitness” I went through the resume of sports I had done in college which included soccer, basketball, ultimate frisbee, kickball, and volleyball. He got an elastic band and noted my upper body strength. He showed me exercises that would be good for my core.
Finally, he led me to the treadmill which is a pretty cool machine. You can do a lot on the treadmill. Besides walk obviously. There’s even a screen so it looks like you are walking in different parts of the world. I decided I would mostly use the treadmill on the days I didn’t have classes. I had no idea what any of the other machines did but my mom said if I asked someone, they could show me. I just knew I had to use my knees as little as possible (I have special physical therapy exercises).
Before I went home I got a free massage on one of the chairs in the “Zen Den”. The chairs squeezed my legs and kneaded my back. Water dripped from a rock fountain in the dark room. It was very peaceful and even though I was only there five minutes, my body felt like it had been given a treat.
This morning when I woke up for dance toning at the crack of eight, it was like I had spent the whole night being kicked in the stomach by a kangaroo. It felt like my stomach was distended. It was not pleasant. It was like gremlins were trying to pull my belly from my body. I staggered my way through dance class. My feet were on fire so I just dragged them with me. I stayed in the back so no one could see how bad my posture was. But the important thing is I didn’t stop. Even though I was convinced I’d keel over any minute, I made myself proud. Not to be cliché but I’ve been doing that a lot lately. I had a manic episode (several) earlier this summer and I’m finally returning to baseline, to doing healthy things, the right things, things for me. It feels good. It feels damn good.
Comments