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How to Survive an Amusement Park


  1. Be prepared. You are going to be doing a lot of walking today so you should dress like it. Stilleto heels and flipflops are both great examples. Wear something lowcut so your boobs pop out on the roller coasters. 

  2. Don’t eat anything before arriving at the park because park food is always easily accessible (aka no lines) and very cheap. You totally won’t end up waiting in line for an hour for Chick Fil A.

  3. Pick the first ride you see. Disregard how long the wait line may be. Sure. the sign says 120 minutes but that’s just a suggestion, right? When you are finally close enough to see the ride, you get off the line because it was just too long.

  4. If you start getting a headache, ignore it. Don’t take Tylenol, don’t sit the next one out. Push, push, push. Everyone loves whiplash

  5. If you start getting nauseous ignore it. Seriously everybody loves when someone throws up on a ride.

  6. Instead of heading home you stubbornly insist on visiting every ride until all your friends secretly hate you. While you are on the roller coaster they make a pact. They will never go with you to an amusement park again. 




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