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Honest Job Interview (Poem)



Which of your achievements has given you the greatest satisfaction?

The writer in me, wants to say the time I pulled

An all nighter and wrote five oems

Extended metaphors at 4 am

(and these actually make sense)

Or the first, second, third time my name

Appeared in print

Did I mention I’ve been published seven times

Clearly these accomplishments have definitely

Pepped me for a career

As a cashier


Do you think you are under qualified for this job?

Probably whenever a customer appreciates me I

Hide behind a mannequin

They are decidedly less threatening

And they don’t tell you look tired


How would you describe the position for which you are applying?

A desperate girl throws herself at the mercy of the public

Tries to interpret Spanish conversations about the $1.99 racl

Stands her not so firm ground when customers challenge a coupon

Hassle people for their email address

Lets the register slowly suck out her soul


How would you describe your ideal working conditions?

A desk with a collection of scented pens,

Half used gluesticks

And Friends playing somewhere in the background

Oh you meant retail

Well I like it best when we turn the music and the lights off and don’t

Let anybody in

Probably not that great for sales though


Tell me about yourself

Did I mention I like to write?

I’ll be standing at the register composing poems

I’ll be cleaning up the fitting room running through dialogue

I’ll be in a haze of creativity while folding jeans

Because no matter how many times I

Masquerade as a cashier

I’m a writer at heart

And always will be



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