8 Side Effects Psych Meds Have Given Me
I thank God every day for psych meds. They make it possible for me to go to family functions (like Easter dinner), go out with my friends to concerts and film festivals, and enjoy my free time with recreational activities. But at the end of the day, psych meds are drugs. And drugs come with side effects. Here are eight side effects that have given me trouble on my journey to wellness.
1) Tremors. My friend was giving me a lift home one night and she said to me, “Do you mind if I ask a question? Do you have Parkinson’s? You’re so young” She was referring to the very noticeable trembling of my fingers and at times my whole body. “How much caffeine have you had?” another friend asked. I had only consumed one soda but I was shaking from head to toe. Tremors are a part of my life now. They are caused by several of the medications I am on like Lithium and Depakote. It is very hard to play piano, to type, to draw, and even to sing. Yes, when I hold a note instead of belting proudly like I used to I warble like I’m nervous even though I’m not. I’m used to the tremors now but I think they distract other people especially when I am performing. If occasionally you see a random letter (usually an “f”) appearing in my type, you know why.
2) Lactation. I won’t go into how I discovered this cute (I’m being sarcastic) little side effect, but I freaked out thinking my body was just going off the rails. Until I called my psychiatrist and discovered that Risperdal (Risperidone) can cause lactation in women. Since they have decreased my Risperdal, I haven’t been producing milk but I did have an “incident” where my boyfriend and I were waiting for Triple A on a hot summer day. I was wearing a thin cami and I leaked through my shirt. It was one of my most embarrassing moments. So naturally, I'll share it with the world.
3) Weight Gain and Increased Hunger. I can handle embarrassment. But weight gain. Like 40 pounds? It’s very humbling. At first, I tried to ignore the extra pounds. But clothes became tighter until I had to buy new ones. And I noticed men were paying me less attention. Now I think heavy women are attractive. There are many men who find heavier women more attractive. Meghan Trainor built her whole career upon that premise. But I pushed past the point of what was healthy. I would get out of breath doing simple things. And I just felt unattractive. One boy told me to my face I was disgusting and I believed him. So I decided this would not be my story. I joined Weight Watchers and lost about 20-25 pounds. I looked great. But then they raised my medication again. And suddenly I was starving all the time. Dinner portions (Weight Watcher friendly!) were never big enough. I was sneaking food. I was begging my parents for seconds. When I went out to eat I finished all my food and started in on my boyfriends. I feel trapped in a vicious cycle. I know I’ll never really lose weight if I don’t get this hunger under control.
4) Sweating. I’m on Propranolol and I had a very close relative who was also on this medicine (for migraine, though I’m on it for anxiety). She said she noticed it made her sweat a lot more. And I have to admit she was right. I get extremely sweaty even when it’s not hot or I haven’t done much to warrant a sweat. For example, I will work up a good sweat putting laundry away. In fact, I usually just assume I’ll take a shower after I a) read in the sun b) go for a walk c) clean my room. Or, you know, sneeze.
5) Dead sex drive. It has since been restored (I’m sure all my family members reading this will be relieved to know that) but it is a fact that antidepressants (such as Prozac which I’ve been on since age 11) kill sex drive whereas manic bipolar episodes really increase it (that’s a symptom of an illness, not a medication side effect though). I felt bad for my high school boyfriend. He did absolutely nothing to make me not attracted to him. I loved him very much. But I couldn’t be sexually active with him. In exchange, this made me angry with myself. What the hell was wrong with me? Was I some frigid prude? I took the anger out of my poor boyfriend. It was not my finest hour and we broke up. Marriages have split up because one of the couple is on antidepressants and the other feels unattractive. If communication is bad, they may think their partner is more attracted to someone else whereas the partner just doesn’t have sexual feelings at all.
6) Extreme fatigue. It is fact that psych meds make you more tired. Since I went on medication, I have been exhausted and with every added medication it’s gotten worse. In high school, I was falling asleep in class to the point they threatened to drugtest me. So I began abusing caffeine (an innocuous drug, or so I thought) until I had a health crisis and had to cut back. Now I work really hard at doing basic tasks because I’m just so worn out. Little things take me enormous amounts of energy. I go to bed early and wake up late. For a brief period of adjusting to new medications, I was worried I would just sleep away my life. It’s one of the reasons I can’t hold a job.]
7) Blurred vision. Risperdal is the culprit yet again. When they first started giving me Risperdal (in the hospital), I discovered I had trouble reading. The letters would swim before me. When I got out of the hospital, I went to the eye doctor and it was determined I needed a stronger prescription. Whether or not my eyes worsened on their own or it was the Risperdal we really don’t know but about five years later the same thing happened. Now I wear glasses full-time.
8) Lithium poisoning/ toxicity. I’ve only gotten Lithium poisoning twice in the six years I’ve been on it. I got very very nauseous, had a headache, and could not stop drinking water, then peeing it out. Lithium toxicity does not occur too often and my psychiatrist spotted it immediately. He sent me for emergency blood work and the tests revealed my lithium levels were too high so he lowered my medication. If severe enough, lithium toxicity can land you in the hospital.
These side effects are a pain but I would rather be on the medications that cause them than off them. Sometimes you just have to take the good with the bad and in the right doses, these medications that enable me to live as normally as possible, really aren’t so bad after all.
Comments